La Danse Macabre

When you work in medicine, death is never far from your mind. Every sick patient is a reflection of your impending mortality. Every cruel accident is a reminder that misfortune missed you for another. 

Eventually you develop this strange feeling that you’re skating on thin ice. You aren't avoiding death; you're dancing over it. The water is deep and dark below your feet, and someday you’ll fall through. 

Someday.

You go home to your warm house,  your glass of wine, your favorite book. But it's hard to get comfortable. You’re still seeing those patients in your mind. You feel like you’re gliding over a sudden, perilous ending. There's a sense that a cold plunge is waiting for you. 

All it takes is a single mistake. An unhappy misfortune. 

At night, you lie in bed at night and dream of cracking ice.